if you think you want it and you don't really want it ....

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I keep forgetting about Oprah's Super Soul Sunday show, but when someone reminded me that Marianne Williamson was on last week I made a point of turning on the TV that morning.

Marianne was inspiring as usual, but it was something that singer India Arie said that literally made me have to sit down.

The truth just came at me like a fireball, or maybe I should say mosquito - yes, the truth of it hit me like a mosquito.

(we need to stop this stupid war on drugs and get focused on the mosquitoes - they are taking over)

She had been nominated for a whole bundle of grammys a few years (?) ago and she didn't win any of them, so now when someone in the music industry loses big - they say they did an India Arie.

After her loss - she left the industry to just be for a while and to reconnect with her love of music, without the agenda of "winning" and what she realized was that parts of herself were just not ready for the kind of success she was having. The parts that weren't ready, the little self-sabotaging spaces most of us carry, made sure she didn't have it.

"If you think you want it and you don't really want it, it makes you weaker." ... India Arie

I would add "If you know what you want it makes you stronger" - it's not the getting it that makes us stronger, it's not just the action toward the getting either - it's the wanting

(the real kind, not the 'you should want this' kind of wanting);

it's the totality of all parts of us wanting it.

Anyhoo, I'm going to come back to this with a series after I finish the emotional foundation stuff because I am thinking there is a really important message here and many of us makers are spending a whole hell of a lot of time making ourselves weaker, but I just wanted to write it down, so that

1. I don't forget it (my total lack of short term memory situation)
2. So anyone out there working with these same themes and might resonate with it can hear it now